Wrestling with God

I was meeting with a young person earlier this summer. And I shared my concerns for the lack of worship attendance among young people. When I asked him why his peers were absent from the church, his response shook me up. “Tim, it’s just not a thing anymore.”

I believe he speaks the truth from the perspective of his age demographic. How did we fail to teach or inspire our children to value what happens in worship? How did this “thing” that I hold so dear simply become “not a thing” among friends I hold so dear?

Let’s review. What is worship? The word “worship” is first recognized in England around 1300. The first syllable, “Wor” comes from the word “worth” and refers to that in which we hold value. What do we find significant, important and valuable? What do we revere? The second syllable “ship” comes from the same as the word “shape.” This means to provide form, structure or a pattern. Together, the two words refer to a process for organizing  ourselves around that which we hold dear. Worship is both a noun, something we attend, and a verb, something we do. I wonder, has worship become “not a thing” because we showed our children the noun but didn’t teach them the value of the verb? 

For this moment, I would like to offer my own little perspective on what happens in worship, both the noun and the verb. And I would like to use the story of Jacob to bring “shape” to that which I hold valuable: my active relationship with God.

Genesis 32:22-28 22 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. 24 Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” 27 So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” 28 Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.”

Jacob has found himself alone and afraid in the wilderness and he struggled with God. Is Jacob in a physical battle with God or a prayerful battle? Certainly he struggled with guilt or shame over the way he has betrayed his brother and deceived his father. Certainly he wanted direction, guidance, protection and wisdom from God. Certainly he stayed up all night, wrestling with options and got up the next morning with a limp in his step over the encounter that changed the course of his journey. I have had similar experiences with God on many wrestful/restless nights.

I have taken this story and created my own little rosary. It is a beaded key chain which reminds me of the important things that happen in my own wrestling with God. This rosary guides my thinking, modifies my prayers, and brings “shape” to my worship of God.

W    white bead      Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

Right underneath my keyring, is a white bead. As my thumb passes over it, the white bead reminds me of the word “worship.” I begin my meditation by listing attributes I ascribe to God: Creator, Redeemer, Glorious, Awesome, Omnipotent, Everywhere, Amazing Grace, Omnipresent, Unrelenting love, etc. By naming who I think God is, something important happens. I put God on the throne and take myself off. This act of praise is not important because God has a low self-esteem and needs to hear my adoration. It is important because my ears need to hear me say it. This is not to be underestimated because I spend most every moment of my day putting myself on the throne making all of my life about me, my agenda, my wants, my desires, my hopes and my dreams. What happens when I put God on the throne and take myself off? I remind myself of who God is. I remind myself that God has a divine perspective which might be different than my human agenda.

W     white bead Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

R     red bead           Reveal, Confess, Who am I?

As my thumb passes the second bead, red, I am reminded to “reveal” my humanness. I look in the mirror and confess that I may not have lived up to God’s expectations of me. Confession is not something I often do and when I do it I usually don’t do it well. Every month in the communion liturgy I confess in plural as a community. “We have not been an obedient church. We have rebelled against your love. We have not heard the cry of the needy. We have not done your will.” It is amazing to me that I can say those words and not fully grasp that I, Tim, have not been spiritually obedient. I have rebelled against God’s love and not chosen a loving gesture. I have ignored the cry of the needy. “God, forgive me. I confess my selfishness. I repeat my sin. I have held on to anger. I have used sarcasm and humor with a smile on my face to say something negative or belittling or hurtful. I have nursed resentment. I have justified my inaction regarding mission. God, I’m so sorry. This is not who I want to be.”

It is interesting to me is that my articulated confession is not something God needs to hear. God already knows my sin. God never left my side and has seen every bit of it. The truth is that I need to articulate it. Because unless I see it, unless I name my sin, until I’m aware of my weakness, I cannot grow. Confession, self-examination takes work. It takes vulnerability. It takes courage. It takes time.

Now is when the prayer gets interesting. When my thumb rubs over the white bead I worship who God is and proclaim God’s agenda. And then immediately after I rub my thumb over the red bead and I focus on my humanness, who I am and my agenda. And here is where the wrestling begins. My human agenda, my red bead, is in direct contrast with God’s purpose, my white bead. The more I grow, the more I learn about God, the more I am aware of the confusion between my agenda and God’s. The wrestling begins.

W     white bead     Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

R     red bead         Reveal, Confess, Who am I?

E     clear bead       Erase, Forgiveness

For the next bead I chose a non-color, clear to represent “erase.” After every confession I receive absolution. After every moment of seeing my sin, after my apology, after my recognition of selfishness, after I name my sin, then I am ready for God to pour unfathomable grace upon me and I am cleansed. It is all erased. My sin is gone and I stand free of the burden. Through Jesus Christ and salvation on the cross I am released. I accept this amazing grace redundantly and repetitively and it humbles me and overwhelms me.

Now is an important moment. God can do something incredible in me. I stand in the midst of this forgiveness and I am compelled and inspired to offer forgiveness to others where I have withheld. And this wrestling continues between sin and forgiveness.

W     white bead      Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

R     red bead          Reveal, Confess, Who am I?

E      clear bead       Erase, Forgiveness

S      sapphire bead  Supplication, Request

The next bead is sapphire, a beautiful blue and it represents supplication.  This is the moment of my request. This is when I express my desire. This is what I need from God. I do this well. I do this often. Sometimes, I think this is the only purpose of prayer; to make requests of God. Yet, the more I grow in my relationship with God, the more I understand God’s purpose for my life, the more it alters my informed supplication. Slowly, as I grow, I begin to understand that many of my requests are a direct result of my selfishness. Slowly, as I grow, I begin to make my requests more about what I perceive to be God’s purpose for my life than my purpose for having a God. And the beautiful wrestling continues.

W    white bead       Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

R     red bead          Reveal, Confess, Who am I?

E      clear bead         Erase, Forgiveness

S      sapphire bead   Supplication, Request

T     turquoise            Thanksgiving

A turquoise bead is next on my rosary. This is a moment to count blessings and to be thankful. It’s not that God is somewhere thinking “I need people to be polite and say please and thank you.” I do not offer thanks so that God feels good about being God. I need to say it. Why? Because in the middle of counting blessings it is hard to be negative. In the midst of saying “thank you” it is nearly impossible to nurse anger. And this beautiful wresting continues as I replace my human agenda with divine perspective.

W    white bead       Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

R     red bead          Reveal, Confess, Who am I?

E     clear bead        Erase, Forgiveness

S      sapphire bead   Supplication, Request

T     turquoise           Thanksgiving

My rosary has now completed the root word, “wrest.” It means to be in a struggling relationship, a tug-of-war, to spar. Like Jacob, after I wrest with God, I find myself changed, altered, and my journey continues with a different stride in my step. I am ready to rise and face my human challenges, my Esau(s.) And I finish out the word by putting a cross at the end of my rosary.

L     a cross               Love

E     a cross               Everyone

At this moment in my rosary prayer, I reflect on Jesus Christ and his loving sacrifice on the cross. And that depth of that love compels me to love everyone. I have received a gift from God and I want to share it with the world.

I offer my simple rosary, as a reflection on Jacob’s experience.

W    white bead       Worship – the noun and the verb, Who is God?

R     red bead          Reveal, Confess, Who am I?

E      clear bead         Erase, Forgiveness

S      sapphire bead  Supplication, Request

T      turquoise           Thanksgiving

L     a cross            Love

E     a cross              Everyone

I am tempted to write an example of my rosary prayer; however, I can’t offer a pastoral prayer example without a disclaimer.

There is power in a corporate prayer in which one individual articulates and others listen. It is a moment when I feel scripture comes alive. Matt 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” But for the most part, I feel folks zone out during prayers when they don’t choose the words. Heads bow and ears fall deaf until miraculously the word “amen” brings everyone back to consciousness. In my gut, practically speaking, corporate prayers are an observed ritual with little investment from the listener(s). So, I offer this Jacob prayer based on my rosary with this disclaimer, its ONLY MY prayer until those who read make it their prayer through active introspection. Whenever you hear, or read, a corporate prayer, it’s on you to engage and make it your own.

W    Great God, Lord of my life, you are the definition of love. Through your omnipotence you see way more than I can even understand. You sit on the throne of my life and I seek your divine perspective of me, my choices and my opportunities.

R     I reveal my humanness as I recognize that I have not been who I want to be as your child. I have allowed myself to rehearse negativity. I have scrutinized my wounds to justify my bitterness. I am so sorry.

E     I humbly kneel before you and recognize that you forgive even though I don’t really deserve it; because I keep returning to my disappointing actions. Yet, I acknowledge your grace as it flows over me, erases my past and absolves me of my sin.

S      This is my humble supplication. This is my plea. God, take the glasses off of my eyes that cause me to see only disappointment. These glasses seem to focus on regret from the past and hopeless for something different yet to come. Replace them with your vision that I might not live under their distortion.

T     Thank you God. I am so incredibly grateful for my family and the opportunities we enjoy. Thank you for blessing me with amazing relationships that bring value to my life and remind me of what is truly important, lasting and significant.

L     I stand in the presence of your love, manifest in Jesus. And the depth of Christ’s love consumes me and calls me to allow that love to pour through me.

E     It is my greatest desire that the love that comes from you will flow through me to everyone who encounters me today, that all will experience your grace in their interaction with me. Amen.

May this example, inspires your wrestling relationship with God as wrest with who you are and who God calls you to be.

 *     *      *      *      *

Allow me to remind you of my initial question when I was meeting with a young person earlier this summer. If worship is both a noun, something we attend, and a verb, something we do. I wonder, has worship become “not a thing” because we showed our children the noun but didn’t teach them the value of the verb?

This WRESTLE prayer helps me to take something I do, pray, and move it to the verb, pray. To me, this is true worship. This has the power to change my life. Have we failed to teach our young people this amazing gift?

*     *      *      *      *

(If you would like a kit to make this rosary for yourself, simply let me know and I will send you one. Then your thumb can pass over every bead and be reminded of your wrestling with God that can change your perspective and put a sacred limp in your step.

In the opening welcome and introduction to this website, I shared the Scripture that inspired this online adventure, I Tim 6:20. This text is also the origination of the name; “Sacred Chatter.” However, my intent is not to be a singular voice. I invite your voice to be a part of the “chat” and I base this on another of my favorite Scriptures: Hebrews 10:24. “And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds.” I am considering how I can provoke love and good deeds in places beyond where I live. This is my attempt to enter into a Hebrews 10 conversation with you over social media.digitally. Now, I am interested in your feedback. Consider what provoking you can provide with your own Sacred Chatter.

What’s important to you? What really matters?

Add your voice in Sacred Chatter.

Love is ours to provoke. Good deeds are ours to sew.

That the wisdom of Hebrews 10 may flourish and grow.

Email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, they’re potential mediums for the Hebrews 10 plan.

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  12. دانلود آهنگ منتظرم مهدی مقدم

    همه عمرمو باختم واسم چیزی نمونده آخه جز من عاشق کی واست
    قصه خونده هنوزم تورو میخوام
    تو که عزیز جونی تو این دنیای بی رحم فقط تو
    مهربونی میدونم که تو رفتی ولی منتظرم باز تو بد کردی به این دل ولی عاشقتم باز میدونم که تو رفتی
    ولی منتظرم باز تو بد کردی به این دل ولی عاشقتم باز چی میشه تو برگردی دوباره
    غم و غصه منو تنها بذاره چی میشه همیشه بخندی واسم که لبخند تو خوشبختی میاره میدونم که تو رفتی ولی منتظرم باز تو بد کردی به این دل ولی عاشقتم باز میدونم
    که تو رفتی ولی منتظرم باز تو بد کردی به این دل ولی عاشقتم باز چشات مثل بهاره
    مث عمر دوباره به غیر از تو که قلبم دیگه راهی نداره
    همه دنیارو گشتم شبیه تو ندیدم من هرشب توی خوابم کنارم تورو دیدم میدونم که تو رفتی ولی منتظرم باز تو بد کردی به این دل ولی عاشقتم باز
    میدونم که تو رفتی ولی منتظرم باز تو بد کردی
    به این دل ولی عاشقتم باز

  13. آموزش رایگان زبان

    در این مقاله قصد داریم به معرفی روش ها و تکنیک های مختلف
    آموزش زبان انگلیسی در خانه بپردازیم.
    گرچه رفتن به کلاس زبان حس و حال
    خوبی دارد و بسیاری از افراد ترجیح
    می‌دهند زبان انگلیسی را با شرکت در کلاس زبان آموزشگاه های مختلف
    فرا بگیرند، با این حال ممکن
    است برخی افراد فرصت رفتن به کلاس زبان را نداشته باشند.
    حتی ممکن است شما فرصت داشته باشید، اما راحتی خانه را ترجیح دهید یا دلتان نخواهد
    برای یادگیری زبان زیاد هزینه کنید.

    چالشی که پیش می‌آید این است که چطور می‌توان بدون مدرس پیشرفت کرد؟ پس چه کسی اشتباهاتمان را اصلاح کند؟ این نگرانی ها به‌جا هستند
    و شاید موارد دیگری هم باشند. مثلا ممکن است نگران
    تلفظ صحیح کلمات باشید. در واقع، شاید
    اصلا ندانید که از کجا باید شروع کنید.
    در حقیقت یادگیری زبان لزوما به معنای نشستن پای کتاب
    نیست و منابع زیادی وجود دارند که می توانند به شما کمک کنند که در مسیر درستی قدم بردارید.

  14. یادگیری زبان برای مهاجرت

    در این مقاله قصد داریم به بررسی زبان کشورهای مختلف دنیا بپردازیم.
    بیش از ۷۱۰۰ زبان در جهان وجود دارد و در هر چهارده روز یک زبان تبدیل به زبان مرده می‌شود.
    از دلایل این موضوع می‌توان گرایش مردم به شهرهای بزرگ و همچنین فوت
    افراد بومی‌های آن زبان اشاره کرد.
    دانستن زبان کشورهای مختلف می‌تواند جنبه اطلاعات عمومی داشته باشد یا صرفا برای یادگیری باشد.
    با این وجود اغلب زمانی که تمایل به دانستن زبان یک کشور داریم، هدف مهاجرت به آن کشور و یادگیری زبان
    دوم برای مهاجرت است. به همین خاطر
    در این مقاله ابتدا زبان کشورهای مختلف را معرفی میکنیم.
    سپس کلاس‌ها و آموزشگاه‌های
    زبان را در شهرهای مختلف به شما معرفی می‌کنیم، تا چنانچه قصد مهاجرت دارید،
    بتوانید بهترین انتخاب را
    برای آموزش و یادگیری زبان داشته باشید.

    مهاجرت و یادگیری زبان کشور مقصد
    امروزه، با توجه به شرایط نامطلوب زندگی در ایران و رفاه و
    کیفیت بالای زندگی، مراکز آموزشی و
    شرایط تحصیل عالی، وضعیت اشتغال
    مناسب در کشورهای دیگر، بسیاری از افراد تصمیم
    به مهاجرت می‌گیرند. مقصد مهاجرت افراد بسته به اهداف،
    بودجه و شرایط دیگر با هم تفاوت دارد، با
    این حال برخی از کشورها مثل کانادا، آلمان، استرالیا، انگلستان، ایتالیا، آمریکا،
    فرانسه،

  15. یادگیری مکالمه زبان

    در این مقاله می‌خواهیم به موضوع مکالمه زبان بپردازیم.
    تا انتها همراه ما باشید. همه ما دوست داریم بدانیم به چه روش هایی می‌توان به
    زبان انگلیسی صحبت کرد. برای تقویت مکالمه
    زبان انگلیسی، بهترین روش صحبت کردن با هم صحبت انگلیسی زبان است، اما برای بعضی از ما یک مانع بزرگ وجود دارد و
    آن نداشتن فردی است که به زبان انگلیسی
    با ما مکالکه کند. بسیاری از افراد شرایط آن را ندارند.

    پس راه حل چیست؟ در ادامه به بیان تکنیک هایی برای یادگیری مکالمه زبان می‌پردازیم.

    چرا مکالمه به زبان انگلیسی سخت است؟
    خیلی از اوقات ما بسیاری از کلمات را بلدیم و بارها
    تکرار کردیم، با اصول گرامری زبان آشنایی داریم،
    حتی اعتماد به نفس خوبی داریم، با این حال نمی‌توانیم به انگلیسی صحبت کنیم.
    احتمالا در ذهن خود می‌دانید که چه حرفی برای گفتن دارید، اما لغات مورد نظر در دهانتان نمی‌چرخد.
    در ادامه بررسی می‌کنیم که چرا این مهارتِ به ظاهر آسان، این‌قدر
    مشکل ایجاد می‌کند؟ و سپس تکنیک هایی برای یادگیری
    مکالمه زبان ارائه می‌دهیم.

  17. دوره آرایشگری مردانه در تهران

    آموزشگاه آرایشگری مردانه – بهترین آموزشگاه آرایش آقایان – کلاس
    گریم – آموزش متد آرایش و پیرایش – آموزش
    پیرایش و خدمات مو… آموزش متد آرایش و پیرایش – بهترین آموزشگاه آرایش آقایان – کلاس گریم – آموزشگاه آرایشگری مردانه – آموزش پیرایش و خدمات مو…
    در پایان دوره و کسب موفقیت در آزمون های ارزیابی سازمان آموزش فنی و حرفه ای کشور، هنرآموز
    موفق به اخذ مدرک آرایشگری پیرایشگر مردانه درجه ۱
    می گردد. آموزشگاه آرایشگری
    مردانه سرای نمونه با سابقه 20 ساله یکی از بهترین آموزشگاه
    های آرایشگری مردانه در تهران است که مدرک بین المللی ارائه می دهد.

    آموزشگاه تخصصی آرایشگری مردانه در فردیس
    کرج ، دوره های آرایشگری ما برای افرادی که تجربه کافی در
    زمینه آرایشگری ندارند و آمادگی لازم جهت ورود به بازار کار را
    در فردیس کرج کسب کنید . بانک جامع مشاغل کتاب نقره ای (آگهی اینترنتی) با هدف
    آگاه سازی افراد در این زمینه و به تبع
    آن تبلیغات و شناساندن انواع مشاغل و اصناف،
    ایجاد شده است. آموزش حرفه ای تعمیرات موبایل زیر نظر تعمیرکار و بصورت عملی در
    شرکت. آموزش قالیبافی تابلو فرش در تمامی مناطق تهران -آموزش قالیبافی تابلو
    فرش در آموزشگاه یا در … عالی ترین،جامع ترین،حرفه ای
    ترین وساده ترین سبک آموزشی را برای دانش
    پژوهان گرامی فراهم آورده ایم
    که در کوتاهترین زمان ممکن، قطعا
    ویقینا از شما یک آرایشگری حرفه ای می سازیم.
    با کارشناسان آقای خاص تماس بگیرید و یا ثبت‌
    نام آنلاین انجام دهید. آموزشگاه آموزشگاه
    آرایشگری در تهران مردانه
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    آموزش حرفه ای آرایشگری مردانه در فردیس کرج افرادی را که به دنبال دوره های تکنیک های تخصصی تر
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    رشته آرایشگری را از مبتدی تا حرفه ای برای علاقه
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    درآمد را کسب کنید. سایه زدن دور مو، که طی آن موهای دور سر سفید(صفر) شده
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    این دوره پیش نیاز ندارد، حداقل میزان تحصیلات متقاضی، پایان
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    قدم به قدم پشت سر بگذارید. بعد از گذراندن دوره درجه 2، در صورت تمایل می توانید وارد دوره پیرایش مردانه درجه
    1 شده و اصول خرد کردن مو و کوتاه کردن و حالت دادن مو
    به مدل های روز (ژورنال شناسی) را فرا بگیرید.

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    تدوین شده که با تکنیک ها و اصول پایه هیرکات آشنا بوده و توانایی کوتاه
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    دوره تعمیرات تلفن همراه با ارائه مدرک
    بین المللی از سازمان فنی و حرفه …

    همچنین این آکادمی فرصتی برای ورود شما هنرجوی عزیز به بازار کار و نیز آموزش های مفیدی را
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    لینک ثبت نام کلیک کنید و پس از پرکردن فرم ثبت
    نام آگهی خود را ثبت کنید. اگر میخواهید تعمیرکار شوید و موبایل را براحتی تعمیر کنید حتما یک جلسه با
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    پس از ثبت نام در دوره پیرایش مردانه درجه 1، زمان
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