Self-Control ~ Vomit Diary (Part 10 of 10)

Read and potentially memorize Titus 2:6.

*This story is enhanced if you pre-read “Too Important to Ever Forget.”*

Narrator: As a minister worked in his church office, there is an unexpected knock at the door. There were no scheduled appointments on the calendar. A tall man enters with his son. The son was equally tall but half the weight. Short greetings are accompanied by brief handshakes. The dad directs his son in front of the chair opposite a curious minister and with a firm hand on his son’s shoulder he pushes the kid into the seat.

Dad: My son does not value respect. He thinks he knows everything and he won’t listen to me. As I was taking him to baseball practice we argued in the car And before he steps on the field, he puffs up his chest and gets in my face! I grabbed his scrawny arm, threw his glove in the trunk and brought him here. See if you can fix him before he loses a roof over his head. I can’t get through to him.

Narrator: Dad extends a business card to the pastor with a brief instruction.

Dad: Call me when your done and I’ll pick him up.

Narrator: It was obvious that the kid wanted to be anywhere in the whole world except the office of a minister. Nearly every muscle in his body was tense, even in his nearly reclining posture in the wingback chair. The minister was at a loss for words. How do you talk with someone who doesn’t want to hear you speak? What do you say? How do you connect? Eye contact was out of the question. The pastor decided to tiptoe into the flood of hostility in the young man.

Pastor: So, what happened? (pause)

What did you and your father fight about? (pause) I mean, did you guys get into it, physically? Or just yell at each other?

Kid: (Angrily.) Look! My dad yells. I take it. Someday I’ll be out of his house and I won’t have to take it anymore. Until then, I have nothing to hear from him and nothing to say.

Pastor: What set everything off? (Pause) What made your dad lose his mind? Did you steal the car? Kill the cat? Tape a little brother to the ceiling? (Long pause.) Did you fail a geometry quiz, cut holes in his suit pockets, eat all the Oreos?

Narrator: There were no responses either verbal or physical.

Pastor: We are both wasting our time here. It’s obvious you and your old man have important stuff to discuss but I don’t see how. . .

Kid: Look, I’m never speaking to him again. I have nothing to say. There is nothing to hear. There is no discussion.

Narrator: Seeing that there was nothing to be gained, the pastor decided to poke the bear, so to speak.

Pastor: OK, I get it. You’re just another teenage kid who’s mad at his dad. If I had a nickel for every ticked off young man who sat in that chair. . .I bet you don’t even know why you’re mad! I bet you all full of piss and vinegar and you can’t tell me because you don’t even know!

Narrator: The young man eyes looked up, surprised. He was not expecting the pastor to go on the offensive, but it confirmed his predetermined negative impression of clergy and the church, full of judgement and condemnation.

Kid: You have no idea what goes on in that house!

Pastor: Neither do you!

Kid: I live there! I hear that crap every day.

Pastor: What crap?

Kid: (pause) It doesn’t matter. We are never going to speak to each other anyway.

Pastor: Listen, son, I dare you to vomit diary.

Kid: Huh?

Pastor: Vomit diary. Don’t try to look it up. I made it up. Just grab a piece of paper and spew out everything you are thinking and feeling about your relationship with your dad. What you see on the paper may surprise you. I think you have so much going on in your head that none of it makes sense anymore. Until you get it out of your head and in front of your eyes I don’t think anything is going to change!

Kid: At least the last part is right. Nothing is going to change.

Pastor: (pause) Change is never a big deal. Really. People don’t get it, but change, it’s the easy part. The hard part is the “want to.” Doing something different is not a big deal. But wanting to do something different is a huge deal. If you don’t want a change in the relationship with your dad, it is certainly impossible. If you do want something different…if you want it…then it can happen. No doubt.

Kid: Then I guess nothing is going to change. Are we done here?

Pastor: I guess we are, but let me know if you decide to give the vomit diary a try. I would at least respect your effort to figure out what’s truly going on in your head and not just your imagination.

Narrator: And that was all the youth needed as a reason to bolt. The young man left the office. The pastor called the dad’s cell with the number from the business card and apologized for not having a greater effect on his son.

About 24 hours later, as the pastor worked in his office, there was an unexpected knock at the door. In enters the same young man from the day before, with cleats over his shoulder ready for practice. Short greetings accompany brief handshakes. As the teenager plops himself in the wingback chair, he thrusts a piece of paper on the table with the open palm of his hand.

Kid: There, vomit diary.

Pastor: Can I read it?

Kid: I didn’t write it for me. Go ahead.

Pastor: Can I write on it?

Kid: It’s not like I’m takin’ it home.

Pastor: Cool, OK, let me check it out.

Narrator: After a few moments of silence while the pastor read and wrote, he looked up in the kid’s eyes.

Pastor: Thanks. This shows a lot of thought and effort. It’s cool you trust me with this personal stuff. I’m really sorry for the disappointment and heartache you and your dad have experienced. And I respect what you’ve done here. Let me tell you why. Life can seem so complicated, yet sometimes things boil down to something a great deal simpler. We complicate it by adding irrelevant history and our own junk to it. Um, let me explain. As I read your thoughts, all of these issues have the same foundation: self-control. You have 10 examples of how you feel you show great self-control and 20 examples of how your dad thinks you are out-of-control. Talking about these examples would start a fight for anybody but what if  you just talked about…

Kid: Look, I’m never talking to my dad. I thought the point was to prove that our stuff is real and not made up in my head, not some attempt to force me to talk to him.

Pastor: Yeah, you’re right. Your stuff is real. Be honest. Are you out-of-control?

Kid: No, I’m not. Well, maybe sometimes. I just don’t think my dad and I agree on the same definition of self-control. He has no idea how crazy I could be. He says I don’t have an “off switch” and he has no idea how many times I’ve used it.

Pastor: How do you define self-control?

Kid: Knowing when not to do or say something.

Pastor: Alright. Consider this crazy idea. Maybe the definition of self-control lies somewhere between selfish and self-love.

Kid: You’re kidding, right?

Pastor: Selfish behavior is stuff that provides something for you, regardless of whether or not is good for you. Selfish behavior usually seeks attention, or instant gratification, or avoids responsibility. Self-love seeks what is best for you. Procrastination is a perfect example of being selfish and the opposite of self-love. Getting drunk or getting high is a great example of selfish behavior and the opposite of self-love. Often, unnecessary risk-taking is the hunt for selfish adrenaline and not stewardship of self-love. Pornography, selfish, not self-love. People who are out-of-control are often people who misinterpret selfish behavior with self-love. It may seem complicated but it’s really pretty simple.

Kid: But what if we disagree about which is which? What if you think something is selfish and I think it’s self-love?

Pastor: Great questions and that is at least a conversation worth having. So, are you better at selfish than you are at self-love?

Kid: My dad would say I’m better at selfish. I’m not sure what I’m better at.

Pastor: What would happen, if after baseball practice on Thursday, you and your dad went to Sonic? And what if you ordered your Oreo Blast and started a casual conversation about selfish vs self-love? It might really pay off in the. . .

Kid: Nice try Reverend. But talking with my dad about anything is not my definition of self-love.

Pastor: I understand. But know this. I’m going to be praying for you. I’m praying that you and your dad can find a way to change the way you talk to each other. Cause… change is not always a bid deal, the big deal, is the “want to.” Do you want things to change? (Silence) Do you want it badly enough? Really, dude, what is more important in your life than relating with your dad? Holy cow this is so worth it!

Kid: Not gonna happen. He won’t listen.

Pastor: He won’t listen if you don’t speak! (Silence.) Well, thanks for sharing your diary. It really helps me understand and center my prayers for you. 

Kid: We done here?

Pastor: I guess so.

Narrator: The kid left the office as the minister called the young man’s dad.

Pastor: You can come pick up your son. He’s really cool and he genuinely stepped up with some stuff I asked him to do. Will you do me a favor? Will you please take your son to Sonic after baseball practice? 

*      *      *

Narrator: The pastor never saw the dad or son again. They never spoke verbally. However, about a week later the pastor received a letter in the  mail on the Dad’s stationary that matched his business card.

Dad: Reverend, I will never miss a Thursday trip to Sonic again. Maybe I, and my family, need to work on self-love. Thank you.

This is too important to ever forget. Self-control is a gift and a blessing. It is not a burden or bad medicine taken to avoid guilt. Self-control is not invented as a way to keep you from experiencing life fully. Through self-control, God helps humanity avoid things that cause hurt and pain. Self-control intersects with every aspect of life. Self-control is manifest in your tongue and the rest of your body. It can be found in how you spend your time, your money, and your energy. Self-control has power over your decisions. Having self-control is usually easy; it’s the “wanting to” that’s incredibly hard.

There are a myriad of ways that inevitably separate us from God. Self-control is the best way to avoid that sin of separation. Self-control empowers! Self-control is an act of love, realized through self-love AND loving others. Self-control is a gift one gives to one’s self. Self-control is a gift others receive from you as well.

Regardless how selfishness strives to overshadow self-love, know that self-control is not out of your reach. No matter how many times you have lost the battle with self-control and given in to selfish habits, today is a new day! Perhaps, you can stand stronger on your convictions as you stand on self-love as your guiding purpose. You were born to experience self-control and offer self-control to an out-of-control world. Today, more than any other day, choose self-control as your demeanor. Avoid actions motivated by selfish pursuits. Choose self-control when your actions threaten to create harm. Share self-control, repeatedly and enthusiastically. May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that self-control is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience, and share.

Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by self-control.

Tie a string around your ninth finger and may it remind you of the power of self-control.


Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

    1. “Holy Spirit, fill me with self-love. Use me to inspire self-control.”
    2. “May the seed of self-love in me, bear Fruit of self-control around me.”
    3. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, self-control rests in me.”

Repeat this prayer to yourself every time you glance at the string around your finger.

Say it. . .maybe 20 times today.

Mean it when you say it at least 5 times.

Change what you are doing to reflect this prayer at least once, today.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become. 

Take time to reflect, journal, pray.

In the opening welcome and introduction to this website, I shared the Scripture that inspired this online adventure, I Tim 6:20. This text is also the origination of the name; “Sacred Chatter.” However, my intent is not to be a singular voice. I invite your voice to be a part of the “chat” and I base this on another of my favorite Scriptures: Hebrews 10:24. “And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds.” I am considering how I can provoke love and good deeds in places beyond where I live. This is my attempt to enter into a Hebrews 10 conversation with you over social media.digitally. Now, I am interested in your feedback. Consider what provoking you can provide with your own Sacred Chatter.

What’s important to you? What really matters?

Add your voice in Sacred Chatter.

Love is ours to provoke. Good deeds are ours to sew.

That the wisdom of Hebrews 10 may flourish and grow.

Email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, they’re potential mediums for the Hebrews 10 plan.

77 thoughts on “Self-Control ~ Vomit Diary

  1. Mutiara138

    Thank you for sharing, In the future I already know how to control my self before vomit, even vomit carelessly can make your surrounding feel disgusted. Keep sharing more of your manner improvement.

  2. houston junk car buyer

    Excellent post. Keep posting such kind of information on your site.
    Im really impressed by your site.
    Hello there, You’ve performed an incredible job.
    I’ll certainly digg it and individually recommend to my friends.

    I’m confident they will be benefited from this web site.

  3. Valeria

    I am really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you
    ever run into any web browser compatibility issues?
    A handful of my blog audience have complained about my
    blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox.
    Do you have any suggestions to help fix this issue?

  4. Demetra

    Greetings! I know this is somewhat off topic but I
    was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one?
    Thanks a lot!

  5. Polly

    Hi mates, how is all, and what you would like to say
    regarding this article, in my view its genuinely awesome in support of me.

  6. Nora

    I am really inspired along with your writing abilities and
    also with the format in your weblog. Is this a paid subject or did you customize
    it your self? Either way keep up the nice high quality
    writing, it’s rare to see a nice weblog like this one nowadays..

  7. Lina

    As the admin of this site is working, no hesitation very shortly it will be well-known,
    due to its quality contents.

  8. Henrieta

    If you wish for to increase your knowledge simply keep visiting this web page and be updated with the latest information posted here.

  9. Veronique

    Hey would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re
    utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different browsers and I
    must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
    Can you recommend a good internet hosting provider at a honest price?
    Thanks, I appreciate it!

  10. Nicky

    If you wish for to increase your knowledge simply keep visiting this web page and be updated with the latest information posted here.

  11. Elvin

    With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either created myself or outsourced but
    it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the web
    without my agreement. Do you know any methods to help prevent content from being ripped off?
    I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  12. Myra

    Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I in finding It
    truly helpful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give one thing back and help others such as you aided

  13. Tyler

    Nice post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I’m inspired!

    Very useful information specifically the final part 🙂 I handle such information much.

    I used to be looking for this particular information for a long time.

    Thank you and best of luck.

  14. Travis

    Howdy! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was
    wondering which blog platform are you using for this site?
    I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at options
    for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me
    in the direction of a good platform.

  15. Hattie

    Your style is unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from.
    Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this blog.

  16. Cheryl

    I like the valuable info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here frequently.
    I’m quite sure I will learn plenty of new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the next!

  17. Chelsea

    Hi there Dear, are you truly visiting this web page
    regularly, if so after that you will definitely obtain pleasant

  18. Taren

    Hi there everybody, here every one is sharing these know-how, therefore it’s
    nice to read this webpage, and I used to visit this website every day.

  19. Darci

    Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article seem to be running off the screen in Internet explorer.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured
    I’d post to let you know. The layout look great
    though! Hope you get the problem solved soon. Kudos

  20. zomeno feridov

    Hello very nice blog!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your blog and take the feeds additionally?KI’m glad to search out numerous helpful information here in the publish, we’d like develop more techniques on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

  21. zomeno feridov

    An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

  22. Alisia

    Thanks for any other informative site. The place else may just I get that type of info written in such an ideal way?
    I have a venture that I am just now working on,
    and I’ve been on the glance out for such information.


    Hey! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog
    platform are you using for this site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and
    I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be fantastic if you
    could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  24. رژیم آنلاین

    Thank you for every other wonderful article.

    The place else may just anybody get that kind of information in such a perfect method of writing?
    I’ve a presentation next week, and I’m at the search for
    such info.

  25. Pingback: tadalafil order online no prescription

  26. Pingback: where can i buy cialis without a prescription

  27. check this link right here now

    Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Ie.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I thought
    I’d post to let you know. The style and design look great though!

    Hope you get the problem solved soon. Many thanks

  28. Sharlesnit

    Just on the internet bank points out … adore the photos! I attempt to learn by looking at other photos, as well.
    [url=]cialis 5 mg[/url]

    Wonderful images, the color and depth of the photos are breath-taking, they attract you in as though you are a component of the composition.

    Good depth 😀
    [url=]avanafil amazon[/url]

    Merely internet checking points out … enjoy the images! I attempt to find out by considering various other images, as well.

  29. Pingback: cialis prescription usa

  30. RandyGew

    Your images look excellent !!!
    [url=]игра aviator[/url]
    [url=]bitcoin up[/url]
    [url=]pin up[/url]

  31. JamesKig

    I favor the colors.
    [url=]hydra адрес[/url]
    [url= ]hidra[/url]
    [url=]hydra onion link[/url]
    [url= ]hydra onion[/url]
    [url= ]ссылки онион[/url]

    This is a beautiful photo with very good light .

  32. zortilonrel

    I think that is among the such a lot vital info for me. And i’m happy studying your article. However want to observation on some general things, The website style is wonderful, the articles is in point of fact excellent : D. Good job, cheers


    What’s up it’s me, I am also visiting this web site regularly,
    this web page is genuinely nice and the users are truly sharing fastidious thoughts.


    Do you have a spam problem on this blog;
    I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation;
    we have created some nice methods and we are looking to
    swap solutions with other folks, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  35. dating sites the

    Excellent blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go
    for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed ..

    Any ideas? Appreciate it!

  36. surgery scoliosis and

    Good post. I learn something new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
    It will always be helpful to read through content
    from other writers and practice something from other sites.

  37. surgery scoliosis of

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say great blog!

  38. when dating sites

    It’s the best time to make a few plans for the longer term and it’s time to
    be happy. I have learn this publish and if I may I wish to recommend you some attention-grabbing things or advice.
    Perhaps you could write subsequent articles relating
    to this article. I wish to learn even more things about it!

  39. dating sites with

    Hello there! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him.
    Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!


    Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog
    and wanted to mention that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts.
    In any case I will be subscribing for your feed and I’m hoping you write again soon! scoliosis

  41. asmr are

    Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger,
    and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice practices and we are looking to trade
    techniques with other folks, be sure to shoot me an e-mail
    if interested.


    Hi, i feel that i saw you visited my site thus i came to go back the prefer?.I am attempting to find issues to
    enhance my web site!I assume its adequate to make use of a few of your ideas!!


    Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you’re a great author.I will be sure to
    bookmark your blog and will eventually come back later on. I want to
    encourage yourself to continue your great writing, have a nice afternoon! 0mniartist asmr


    Hello to every one, the contents present at this web
    site are actually amazing for people knowledge,
    well, keep up the good work fellows. 0mniartist asmr

Comments are closed.

Recent Comments

Receive weekly podcast + blog updates in your inbox!

Receive weekly podcast + blog updates in your inbox!